Mango Mussolini, Vanilla Isis, Hair Fuhrer. Aka Fat Donnie, aka Donnie the Slumlord, aka Don the Con. The boss of the Trump Crime Family out of Queens, NY, has gone by so many names the FBI can barely keep up with them all. Here are some names he doesn’t go by: “Honest Don, "stand-up guy,” “Old Faithful.” Unfaithful to his wives, stiffing investors and employees alike, spreading bad paper all over town, lying about everything, he’s a steak-and-ketchup-fed grifter, a swollen goniff, the con artist as Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon. This just-average hustler’s sole distinction in business seems to have been that his flimsy film-flams just had more zeroes at the end of the numbers than most bunko artists would dare to reach for. Why steal little when you can steal big, amiright? Fuggeddabbouddit. Those extra zeroes have been very good to the orange-sprayed casino operator.
He carried this bloated art of the con onto a national stage, pussy-grabbing the presidency of a well-known democratic republic, now banana republic, with a paltry 46% of the popular vote, though to hear him tell it, it was closer to 460%. Those pesky zeroes again. This was a swindle of epic proportions, a con so big there isn’t a RICO predicate big enough to take it all in. Now they call this big-as-the-Ritz zircon-in-the-rough "Don Fugazy®,” the king of the fraudsters.
Now that the has his tiny hands on the wheels of state power, he seems to have, in the immortal words of Hyman Roth, “what we have always wanted, partnership with a friendly government.” Too bad that government is Russia’s. Mobbed-up with a virtual Red Army of ex-KGB, ex-FSB Russian gankstas™, Don Fugazy’s position as capo di tutti truffatori (look it up) seems positively teflon-coated, but if history teaches us anything, it’s that this hustle, this latest appearance, too, can be very deceiving. Historical note: The original Teflon Don died in prison. Know your thug.
Congratulations, Donald “Don Fugazy®” Trump! You’re a ganksta!™ And this ganksta administration has to go. Please share!
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